This is gorgeous!
Crochet Ideas
15 Oct 2013 11 Comments
in Crafts, Crochet, Knit Tags: Arts, Craft, crochet, fairies, halloween, knitting, Knitting and Crochet, pattern, wings
So, I’ve been searching for various Halloween inspired crochet patterns, because it’s that time of the year. And I found these!
They are so cute that I can’t stand it! Just crochet around some wire coat hangers and see where it goes!!
Thought of the Day #5
15 Oct 2013 Leave a comment
in Anxiety, Bipolar, Mental Health, Stress Tags: bipolar, endomitriosis
It’s been months since I did one of these, so here goes.
Emotion of the Day – Tired
My endomitriosis has been acting up all day. I don’t know the little beast that’s in there kicking my ovaries with little pointy boots, but I would really like for him to give it a rest. Other than that I have been doing rather well, considering. Things could be much worse. Knock on wood.
Thought of the Day – I wish more people understood. I hate explaining myself and apologizing over and over again.
Conversations About Medications
15 Oct 2013 5 Comments
Someone told me that I could cope without my medications. I snapped at them harder than I should have. They asked me why I was angry. This was my response.
“I am upset because it is an extremely sensitive subject. It makes me snap rather quickly. Because no one but me has to live with the consequences of the things I say and do without the governor that is my medication. I boil over any time someone tells me that I would be just fine on my own, because it hurts. It brings back the memories of how many people that I have pushed away by saying things so hurtful they can’t stand the sight of me. It brings back the memories of how horrible I was to my parents when I was growing up, just because they didn’t understand and I couldn’t control it. You’re lucky. You don’t have to live with that every day. Knowing what a horrible beast you turn into, just because you don’t put a pill down your throat. I am Jekyl and Hyde.”
I shouldn’t blame the people who are ignorant of what those of us with life long disorders go through on a day to day basis. They honestly can’t comprehend housing this monster inside. I wish I could use words to share the experience, but no words will ever explain the pain, the anger, the darkness. I am a quiet pool of water, still and dark. No one knows that in the depths lie sharks and predators they could not fathom.
This is why I take medications. To keep those demons from breaking the surface of my quiet, calm water.
Feeling better
01 Oct 2013 Leave a comment
Sorry I haven’t posted in forever, but I am starting to feel much better. I have started crafting again, and I think my meds are on track for regulating everything! YAY!